15 Best Kuzco Quotes from ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’

The Best Kuzco Quotes from The Emperor’s New Groove
The poster for “The Emperor’s New Groove”

Get ready to embark on a hilarious journey through the wacky world of The Emperor’s New Groove with the best Kuzco quotes from film! This llama-licious adventure is filled with witty one-liners and side-splitting sarcasm and defies Disney’s painstakingly deliberate traditions. Join me as I revisit the quirkiest moments and unforgettable quotes that have made Kuzco the emperor of hilarity. 

The Best Kuzco Quotes

No touchy.

This quintessential line truly embodies Kuzco’s character. Known for his self-centeredness and arrogance, the line perfectly captures his bratty and entitled attitude. It’s his way of asserting his superiority and independence. 

However, it highlights Kuzco’s comedic nature and contrasts his royal status and his unfortunate situation- being transformed into a llama. We find ourselves chuckling at his ridiculousness and the irony of his insistence on personal boundaries while being a llama. 

On a personal note, this quote reminds me of my son, who also tends to assert his personal space and belongings. Like Kuzco, he has his own unique way of expressing it, and sometimes, it’s just too funny not to laugh at.

2. So, I’ll be building my summer home on a more magical hill. Thank you.

This quote is said by Kuzco near the end of the movie when he finally realizes the error of his ways and the importance of love and compassion. He says it to his loyal and newfound friend, Pacha, who has been instrumental in helping Kuzco regain his humanity and learn valuable life lessons along the way. 

The quote illustrates Kuzco’s growth and transformation as a character. He learns the value of humbleness, friendship, and selflessness. By acknowledging the existence of a “more magical hill” and expressing gratitude, Kuzco shows that he has come to appreciate the beauty and wonder of the world around him beyond his own selfish ambitions.

3. You know, it’s a good thing you’re not a big fat guy, or this would be really difficult.

Kuzco says this to Pacha as they are trying to maneuver their way up a crevice. It is a funny moment where Kuzco, a small and agile llama, teases Pacha, a bigger man. Kuzco’s cheeky and sarcastic nature is highlighted here, providing a moment of levity amidst the incident.

Kuzco takes a moment to joke about Pacha’s potential difficulties rather than fully appreciating their challenges.

4. Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn’t as nice as I should have been. But, Yzma, do you really want to kill me?

Kuzco says this quote during a confrontation with Yzma, who has been relentlessly pursuing him, intending to eliminate him and secure her place as the ruler of the kingdom. This quote exemplifies Kuzco’s character by showing his growth throughout the story as he acknowledges and takes responsibility for his past behavior. 

The irony of Kuzco acknowledging his flaws while simultaneously questioning Yzma’s murderous intentions adds a comedic twist to the scene as well. There is a great life lesson to learn from this quote! It inspires us to take responsibility for our actions, learn from our mistakes, and strive to be better individuals.

5. Okay, why does she even have that lever?

Kuzco says this quote as a humorous aside to the audience. He says it after escaping from Yzma’s clutches and is now desperately trying to find his way back to his human form. After pulling the mysterious lever with Pacha and falling into an alligator pit, Kuzco can’t believe the absurdity of the lever’s existence in the first place. 

The quote is a perfect example of Kuzco’s snarky and sarcastic remarks. As an audience, this quote elicits a sense of amusement and laughter. Kuzco’s annoyance and the nonsense of the lever strike a chord with our sense of humor. It reminds us of the unpredictable and nonsensical moments in life that can lead to unexpected outcomes. 

6. Let’s take a look-see. Hate your hair. Not likely. Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. And, let me guess, you have a great personality.

Kuzco, who is self-centered and arrogant, says this quote when he evaluates a group of women as potential wives. He says it to each woman individually. The humor in this quote lies in the irony of Kuzco’s exaggerated arrogance and self-importance and his eventual transformation. 

As the audience, this quote provokes amusement due to its satirical nature, as we recognize Kuzco’s absurdity and inability to see beyond physical appearances. This quote serves as a reminder to not judge others solely based on their physical appearance. 

It highlights the importance of looking beyond external qualities and recognizing the value of a person’s personality and character. By making us laugh at Kuzco’s exaggerated shallowness, the quote encourages us to reflect on our own biases and strive for a more open-minded and compassionate perspective. 

7. Whoa! Look at those wrinkles. What is holding this woman together?

This quote is spoken internally by Kuzco as Yzma is talking to him. The humor in this quote lies in Kuzco’s sassy and sarcastic personality. Kuzco’s observation of the wrinkles on Yzma’s face adds a comedic touch to the tense situation while highlighting his self-centeredness. 

And while this quote may not have profound life lessons, it reminds us to find humor in difficult situations. Additionally, it reminds us not to judge others solely based on their appearance.

8. I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was, and then you got mad at me. Oh, and you turned me into a llama!

Kuzco says this quote when he is addressing the character of Pacha. The comedic timing and delivery of the line are spectacular! It showcases Kuzco’s arrogance and self-centeredness and highlights his impulsive and absurd actions. 

The quote captures Kuzco’s eccentric personality and tendency to prioritize his own desires over the feelings of others. The unexpectedness of the line and the absurdity of turning someone into a llama (especially since Pacha was not the person who turned Kuzco into a llama) creates a sense of playfulness. 

9. I got a little secret for you; come here. No, closer. I don’t make deals with peasants!

This quote is said by Kuzco to Pacha when Pacha offers his help to the transformed emperor. Kuzco says it with a mischievous smirk, conveying his superiority and attempting to establish dominance over Pacha.

The absurdity of Kuzco’s arrogance and belief that he is above making deals or engaging with someone he perceives as beneath him drives the humor. Kuzco is oblivious to his own predicament and fails to recognize the value of Pacha’s assistance, despite being utterly dependent on it.

The quote underscores Kuzco’s inflated ego while still producing laughter. While we might find his arrogance amusing, it also serves as a reminder of the importance of humility and the negative consequences of disregarding others.

10. Yay. I’m a llama again! [beat] Wait…

Kuzco utters this line after being transformed into different animals while trying to turn back into a human. He ends up back as a llama. It’s a moment of vulnerability for Kuzco, where he openly expresses his emotions while trying to process the sudden change in his physical form.

The unexpected shift from excitement to realization creates a comedic beat, highlighting Kuzco’s witty and somewhat self-centered personality. You can’t help but chuckle at the ironic twist, and the scene keeps throwing laughs at you as quickly as you can take them. 

As we watch this scene, we feel a mixture of amusement and empathy. We are also reminded of our own moments when we may have celebrated prematurely or failed to consider the bigger picture. Like Kuzco, the quote reminds us to embrace the unexpected and approach life’s twists and turns with a lighthearted attitude.

11. You know, the funny thing about shaking hands is you need hands.

Kuzco says this memorable line when he is in his llama form and is talking to Pacha. The humor in this quote lies in its clever wordplay and Kuzco’s witty delivery. Although Pacha and Kuzco had agreed to a deal with a handshake, Kuzco can go back on the agreement by pointing out the obvious; as a llama, he has no hands. 

This quote perfectly embodies Kuzco’s character throughout the movie. It showcases his wit, sharp tongue, and tendency to make light of serious situations. It also underscores his lack of empathy and serves as a reminder of his selfish nature. This quote shows a powerful life lesson of keeping one’s word and honoring agreements. 

Kuzco’s failure to follow through on his promise to Pacha leads to a breach of trust and damages their relationship. It serves as a reminder that our actions have consequences and that breaking agreements can hurt others. 

12. Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, is Kuzco’s poison. That poison.

While not spoken by Kuzco, but about Kuzco, this quote is one of the funniest lines in the movie and simply cannot be left off a list of the best Kuzco quotes. Kronk, Yzma’s bumbling archetypical himbo — strong, kind, and stupid says this quote. 

He is tasked with administering the poison to eliminate Kuzco. But in his clumsy manner, he comically repeats the phrase while struggling to remember the importance of the poison and its purpose.

His words’ dramatic and overly descriptive nature, combined with the deadpan delivery, creates a humorous contrast. 

13. Hit the road, Bucky.

Spoken by Kuzco to Bucky the Squirrel is an excellent example of Kuzco’s personality. Bucky the Squirrel is kind and giving and offers Kuzco an acorn. But Kuzco furiously flings the acorn at Bucky’s head. 

This quote shows off Kuzco’s snarky remarks and self-centered nature throughout the movie. We can’t help but be amused by Kuzco’s audacity and quick wit, even though we might not necessarily agree with his behavior.

14. Don’t tell me—we’re about to go over a huge waterfall…Sharp rocks at the bottom?… Bring it on.

When Kuzco exclaims this quote, he’s stating the obvious in a sarcastic and humorous way. His snarky and sassy personality is perfectly captured here. It makes us giggle and lightens the scene’s tension. 

This quote reminds me of my dear friend, who has a similar sense of humor. No matter her challenges, she always finds a way to crack a joke or make light of the situation. It’s a gift to be able to bring laughter to others and see the brighter side of life. 

I think this quote encourages us to embrace humor and find joy during trouble. It reminds us to appreciate the little moments of comedy that can make life more enjoyable. 

15. This is Yzma, the emperor’s advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.

This quote is spoken by Kuzco when he introduces Yzma, his advisor, to the audience. It’s a playful way for Kuzco to poke fun at Yzma’s age, and the deadpan delivery only adds to the humor. It perfectly illustrates Kuzco’s quick wit and tendency to make shrewd remarks. 

And while this quote may not necessarily hold a profound life lesson, it does remind us of the importance of laughter and not taking ourselves too seriously. Kuzco’s satire and humor remind us to find joy in life’s absurdities and embrace our quirkiness. 

This article was written by Jessica and edited by Michael.

Michael has been visiting Disney World since he was a kid. He's also been to Disneyland and sailed on the Disney Dream. Michael is the owner and editor of Countdown to Magic.

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